OMG LOL! Must read!

"Eat," he ordered.
She hesitated. "I've never been commanded to eat before..."
Without any question, just a bit of guilt for being so rude, she hobbled over to the little floor table in the middle of her room. however once she got there, she paused to gawked down at the plate.
"Erm..." she was at loss for words. Exactly what was he trying to get her to eat?
Atop the squared white plate, sat something out of a frat house. This sandwich was monstrous with its bread like that of a sponge, for it had soaked up the oddly sliced tomatoes' juices and condiments all into itself. The lettuce had been piled on to a rabbit's liking, and the french-fry thick onion slices sat atop the only edible looking part of the sandwich, the turkey.
Had this sandwich seen better days? Did it self-destruct on the plate?(I started laughing uncontrollably reading that line)
With no way to refuse his generous, but brutal offer without feeling fiendish, she continued to look apprehensively to the sandwich. What a foe.
"Something the matter?" she heard his deep voice challenge.
She poked the sandwich, half expecting it to growl at her or crawl off the plate upset. And with one last prod with her finger, the sandwich squirted mustard.